Against my will, religion and creed... loving beyond any such need.
Long have I gotten used to licking this old wound, knowing that my true suffering will never end.
To be loved truly is where I now stand, now having someone to hold my hand.
The shoulda coulda wouldas bound me, to my ever eternal plee.
To worship deep in my unbounded sea, my own personal Calypso that lies before me.
I now know I am the sheep that disables sleep.
Torn and happily tourmented by a love so deep.
Finally I am seen and they see me... but at what cost has our ship set to sea?
When I think of it it's makes us closer and further at the same time. The first true love I ever had.
Ready to fail, fall to hell and bleed... more than just a couple times.
Once again... my heart is slit open to bleed.
But onto this love and pain I cleave, not knowing or wanting it to leave.
So used to this feeling and now it has me reeling to know it is finally recieved and set free.
Wanting it to grow, to even slightly know what or how it could go.
The scent of this unreal and compelling adoration. Everything in moderation.
No. I want to drink, not think to sink deep into this long awaited love. To empassion myself and no longer put this on the shelf. This love has rested too long. I know it is wrong but I want this moment... before it is gone.
To kiss those lips, hands on hips and to know my longing is satiated. The danger game I play has always been this way.
What if my love says, "Nay. To me do not pray for such a day". Fear, the same fear an ex-drunkard has of the one drop of wiskey that long left the lips, now calling beging for, "just a little sip".
Oh to be a responsible person, to do the right thing is a terrible path. Evil is selfish and dare I say I am evil and wicked indeed.
For it is I who has a more than decade long need to breath the same air, hear the words tickling my ears... "I love you." To see the look on the face to finally physically embrace the one who has ruled my thoughts these many years. The pain and anguish of it brings me to near tears.
Unrequieted... love now at arms reach. Now left to dance around in poetic speech. Always knowing but never flowing... this love started by the sea. The love that is now engulfing me... bound by the deep and endless sea.